Grief and Boundaries

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Setting Boundaries Are Essential

But Also Can be Challenging.

I know, it’s the last thing you want to think about at the moment - setting boundaries for yourself and telling people what to do, but I found this to be one of my saving graces after losing Loey.

So much of your health and general wellbeing depends on our ability to set and maintain good and healthy boundaries.

I think, and I am totally guilty of doing this, that women automatically default in taking care of everyone else and become the caretaker during loss and they forget about their own healing process.

Yes, sometimes it is justified but I do invite you to be conscious of your own healing process because unattended grief does not go away. It will stay in your body and create havoc.

I truly believe that setting boundaries is an act of self-love and self-preservation.

Boundaries are also limits that we place on ourselves.

We need to set limits or boundaries on our daily routines, work schedule, social events, and responsibilities.

 

Oh - did the guilt feeling start to rise again?

It’s natural. I remember feeling guilty for not going to my best friend’s 40th birthday party, but I honestly was not in a healthy mental state and she understood. So the sky didn’t fall and she still loves me.

If setting boundaries are challenging, please know that you can start small and practice.

It all takes practice.

 

Here are a few ways that you can set your own boundaries -

 

  1. Be aware of your own needs. Listen to your intuition.

  2. Recognize which people or situations drain your energy or trigger negative emotions.

  3. It’s OK to say no, and without apology, if it is in your best interest.

  4. Let or ask others to help, without guilt.

  5. Be protective of your time and try not to overcommit yourself.

  6. Remember that you are not responsible for other people’s problems.

  7. Advocate for yourself if you feel your boundaries have been crossed.

  8. Know that boundaries are for your protection, not to punish others or push them away.

I invite you to speak from your heart when you are setting boundaries and be firm in what you need with respect and gratitude.

 

I would LOVE to know how this resonates. Please feel free to leave a comment below

Much love,


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Jennifer Heptongrief coach, grief support, baby loss, infant loss, pregnancy after loss, life after loss, still birth, stilborn, birth trauma, grieving mom, grieving parents, support for grieving, bereaved parents1 Comment