Life after baby loss
My Goddaughter and Loey …
I had the most glorious time with my goddaughter.
***
It’s interesting when you spend time with little ones that you love after loss.
I was in awe of her strength, wonder and curiosity about the world.
I admired her and loved watching her explore
I wondered what she will be when she gets older
How she will change the world around her and how much the world will change for her
And there were times where I wondered if Loey would have been like her with the same
Curiosity
Strength
Sweetness
I saw her play
I wondered what adventure Loey and her would be on
I wondered what mischief they would
get into [ a lot ]
I wonder what they would
say to each other
Suddenly -
in the middle of the joy
I could feel the loneliness start to overwhelm me as we sat at the table
I started to feel a shadow
a heaviness
a dark feeling
I see you
It was sadness and grief
I recognize you.
I became aware of my emotions without judgement
I paused and caught my breath
And I knew and felt that Loey was and is with her
Watching her play
Making sure she is alright
Baby loss changes you - no doubt!
When we lose the memories that will never be - it’s hard !
And, I find we need to create new ones ...
Create new beliefs
Create new stories
Loey is now M’s little guardian angel. Her friend in heaven.
I deeply believe that M [my goddaughter] knows this and feels
her.
This photo was taken after M had a melt down and we started to look outside into the clouds ️ and I could
feel Loey with us.
It was a magical moment and a moment I will not forget.
I believe that making new memories for the ones that were taken away is part of living life with loss.
Would love to hear how this resonates with you.
love you M and honored to be your God Mummy!
with love,
