MY EGG DONOR STORY

In stories, we HEAL.

As I sit here thinking about the first time I was approached about using an egg donor, I can vividly see myself sitting at our dining room table looking shocked and staring into the backyard of our North Vancouver home.

Before that first call, we had experienced a twin pregnancy and had to TFMR [ termination for medical reasons ], several miscarriages, 2 failed IUI and had just started our IVF journey when we were told that my body didn’t respond well to the drugs and that we should think about alternatives.

The doctor that was supporting us on our journey had the worst bedside manner and I know that my PTSD was triggered and thus I didn’t feel safe with him.

LOVING CHRISTMAS AFTER OUR STILLBIRTH

I know what you are thinking, this lady has lost the plot!

I get it! It didn’t happen overnight and it took a while but I LOVE Christmas again because it means something completely different to us as we had to redefine it for ourselves after infertility and the death of our twins and daughter. As a Pregnancy Loss Coach, I work with several women who find holidays triggering and only feel sadness, overwhelm and isolation. I’ve been there and it is incredibly hard. I get it.

Getting Pregnant After Loss

Those words are full of so many emotions.

Thinking about trying again can be full of guilt, sadness and joy.

We want to be able to think about a beautiful baby in our arms, but after baby loss we don’t have the luxury of not knowing what could happen.

I remember after losing our twins, I was incredibly anxious about getting pregnant again.

The doctors, my family and even my husband kept reassuring me that it would be okay to start again.

So, we did and we tried IUI, IVF and the old fashion way of having sex on those 2 days.

My God Daughter and Loey [ Life after baby loss ]

This photo was taken after M had a melt down and we started to look outside into the clouds ️ and I could
feel Loey with us.

It was a magical moment and a moment I will not forget.

I believe that making new memories for the ones that were taken away is part of living a life with loss.