MY PARTNER + I after loss

I KNOW.

YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO GET BY ON YOUR OWN AND HERE I AM SAYING THAT WE NEED TO THINK OF OUR PARTNERS.

WHEN WE HAD TO TERMINATE OUR TWINS FOR MEDICAL REASONS, TRY TO CONCEIVE AFTER SEVERAL MISCARRIAGES AND THEN LOEY’S DEATH, I DIDN’T THINK WE AS A COUPLE WOULD HAVE MADE IT AND SOMETIMES I WONDER IF WE WILL. IT TAKES CONTINUOUS PERSONAL GROWTH AND COMMITMENT.

Finding your RETREAT

Let’s start by asking ….

Do you have a retreat?

Do you have your special, calming space where you are able to retreat, restore and refresh when the world gets too crazy and overwhelming?

Having a place where you find comfort when your grief gets too much is important in our healing process.

WHY?

Our minds and nervous system needs a break so that it can restore and fight another day. If we don’t have that, we will stress our adrenals and feel ill.

Go on Parent yourself !

As children there was someone who told us what we needed to get done, what we shouldn't be doing and how to clean our room. However as adults we don't have our parents telling us to get up and live our life.

We need to get up on time ourselves, we need to take ourselves to the gym or for a walk and we need to eat sensibly. There isn't someone telling you what you need to do. It is all up to you.

When we have experienced trauma or a loss, the need to live is really hard. Don't get me wrong, it's not about life or death, but more about living our life in the shit of it. Having to get up in the morning, having to feed ourselves, head into work and survive.

There is a time to grieve and to heal and there is a time to parent yourself to get yourself out of bed.

Personally, I know that I use to use grief as a crutch or as an excuse not to leave my flat, not to experience life and not to see friends.

Those FIRST few MONTHS after LOSS

I felt like a zombie in my own life. I didn't have the energy to think and eat or even think about taking a shower. I didn't know if I was going to make it or not.

I had to ask for a lot of help, and I ate a lot of ice cream. I learned to not judge myself if I was too tired to do anything that day. I also learned to set boundaries around my healing experience. I had to find the courage and strength to live one day at a time. I had to create self-care moments each day to help me find purpose.

I wrote an E-MAG about my first few months after my loss.

People have shared that after reading my e-mag they felt less alone, that it was an easy read to help them understand what they are going through.

What is it that I do ?

I am creating the thing that I wished existed in this world by bringing a modern contextual twist to the idea of loss and grief. I am creating a movement of women who are not afraid of loss and will step into the depth of loss to learn how they can heal and grow in ways that they never thought possible. I am creating language of acceptance, of space, of time and of awareness around loss and grief. I am coaching, holding space and loving every woman I meet that has acknowledged their losses, and are trying their best to move with it, and find their sovereignty.